I am 42 years of age; I was referred to Valley House’s Domestic abuse service via Women’s Aid from out outside of Coventry. Women’s Aid had helped me leave my accommodation where I was living with my abusive partner and had placed me in a hotel for overnight.

I had been with my partner for just over 2 years, the first 6 months of the relationship were good, however slowly the relationship got very abusive, and I experienced physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. When I was in the relationship, he would constantly monitor my every movement, if I went to the bathroom and was to long, he would come and check on me, if I texted my mother, he would monitor my phone and my messages, and if I went to the shops, he would call me constantly asking me where I was. I eventually made the decision to leave, however somehow, he found out what I was planning so he would not leave my side, if he had to go out, he would then ensure I was never left in the property on my own.

One morning I woke up and realized I was in the house on my own, so I got up and ran out of the house very quickly. I went to my local council who then got in touch with Women’s Aid, who called around different agencies for me.

I knew it was going to be hard to find accommodation for me as I am an ex-drug user and currently still using methadone, however I was offered a space by Valley House. I had no money to travel down to Coventry, so Valley House contacted Rail to Refuge who helped me with travel.

When I got to Valley House, my case worker supported me to link in with the drug services here to ensure I had no relapse. I also informed my case worker I had children who were all removed from me due to the domestic abuse and my lifestyle around drugs.

When I got here, I was placed in a shared house, however I found sharing with strangers very difficult, so I was then moved to a single accommodation.

Since being here at Valley House I have worked with my case worker and completed a package of support around domestic abuse. I also realized the impact the Domestic Abuse had on my children and fully understand why they were all removed from my care. I am now slowly trying to rebuild my relationship with my children, I am currently on speaking terms with one child and also going to have some supervised contact with another child which will be starting very soon.

Prior to moving to Valley House, I felt let down by a lot of professionals. This created a barrier for me not to trust professionals, so when I first initially moved to Valley House, I was very reluctant to engage with anyone.

My caseworker helped me recognise how my tone and language could be perceived as aggressive. My case worker also helped me look at how to speak to professionals differently.

I am now able to have conversations with all professionals and remain calm and ensure my voice is heard.

Very soon I will be leaving Valley House, I want to go back to my hometown as I miss it and it means I will be closer to my children. I feel I am ready to do this as I feel stronger and calmer.

 

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Find out more about how Valley House can help – Domestic Abuse