Domestic Abuse

Physical abuse is an act of violence, from someone you are in an intimate relationship with or a family member. Physical abuse is a type of abuse that is putting your life or health in danger, some examples of physical abuse are:

Scratching, punching, biting, kicking, choking, strangling, grabbing you, using objects as weapons to hurt you and pulling your hair.

Sexual abuse can be physical or non-physical. This type of abuse can involve physical contact, words being said, or can be any action that pressures you into doing something sexually that you do not want to do. Sexual abuse can come from a family member or from someone you are in an intimate relationship with. Some examples of sexual abuse are:

• Unwanted kissing or touching.
• Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity.
• Rape or attempted rape.
• Refusing to use condoms or restricting your access to birth control.
• Threatening you into unwanted sexual activities
• Pressuring you or forcing you to perform sexual acts.
• Using sexual insults towards you.

This type of abuse is when the perpetrators use’s your emotions to control, isolates and frighten you. Psychological & Emotional abuse can be verbal and non verbal, this abuse is harmful as it can cause mental distress such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.

Examples of Psychological & Emotional abuse are:

• Gaslighting – manipulating you into doubting your own sanity or reality.
• Moving things around the house or removing things and returning them later then denying it.
• Constantly denying that you have said things or that they have told you things.
• Telling you that people have said unkind things about you, or that your friends don’t like you
• Telling you that you have a mental health condition when you haven’t.
• Making derogatory jokes about you to others in front of you
• Name calling, telling you that you are useless, stupid, worthless or mad.
• Questions you endlessly about everything you do or say.
• Damaging your property when they are angry (throwing things around, punching walls, doors or kicking walls and doors).
• Threatening to harm you, your pet or people you care about.
• Blaming you for their actions and their abusive or unhealthy behaviours.
• Threatening to commit suicide to stop you from leaving them.

When the perpetrator is intentionally using gestures and language continually which frighten you, demean you and control you. it’s the perpetrators way of gaining power and control over you. Some examples of verbal abuse are:

• Calling you names and putting you down
• Yelling, screaming and shouting at you
• Intentionally embarrassing you in public
• Threatening to have your children taken away from you.
• Sarcasm
• Making accusations

Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse, as it makes one partner totally dependent on the other. Financial  / Economical abuse rarely happens in isolation, it usually comes alongside of other forms of domestic abuse.

Examples of Financial and economic abuse are:

• Being given an allowance and being closely watched on how you spend it.
• Putting your wages into a partners account and being denied access to it.
• Keeping you from seeing shared bank account records
• Forbidding you to work or limiting the hours that you can work.
• Preventing you from going to work by taking your car keys or house keys, locking you in the house.
• Getting you fired by harassing you, your employer or co-workers on the job.
• Maxing out your credit cards without your permission
• Refusing to give you money for food, rent, medicine or clothing.
• Spending money on themselves but not allowing you to do the same.

Coercive control is a form of non-physical abuse. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assaults, threats, humiliation and intimidation that is used to exert power and control over another person through fear and control. Coercive control is recognised as a behaviour that underpins all other types of domestic abuse. No one else can see this abuse unless you speak up.

Some examples of Coercive control are:

Isolation, name calling, reinforcing gender roles, gas lighting, controlling your money, monitoring your activity.

This is using technology and devices to monitor and harass you. Texting you and using social network platforms to bully, harass, stalk and intimidate you. Often this behaviour is a form of verbal and emotional abuse perpetrated online.

Examples of Digital abuse are:

• You are sent negative, insulting, or threatening emails, Facebook messages, tweets, direct text messages, or via other social media sites.
• Online sites such as Facebook, snapchat, Instagram etc are used to keep tabs on you, monitor what you are doing, where you are.
• Partner, ex-partner or family member is posting negative things about you.
• Partner, ex-partner or family member sends you unwanted, explicit pictures or demands that you send some in return.
• Pressures you to send explicit videos or sexts.
• Steals your password to access your accounts
• Constantly texts you and makes you feel like you can’t be away from your phone for fear of punishment.
• Constantly checks and looks through your phone, pictures, texts and calls.
• Tags you unkindly in pictures on social media.

Stalking and Harassment is when someone repeatedly behaves in a way that makes you feel scared, distressed, or threatened.

Examples of stalking and harassment are:

• Consistent unwanted contact including phone calls, texts, contact via social media.
• Being sent unwanted gifts
• Showing up, approaching an individual or their family / friends
• Monitoring / Surveillance
• Property damage
• Threats
• Loitering around places you go / visit.
• Character assassination