Domestic Abuse >

Worried About Someone Else

Are you worried about someone else? The chances are that you maybe know someone, maybe a sibling, parent, friend or colleague that is going through domestic abuse behind closed doors. Unless they are very open about their experiences it may be difficult to acknowledge there is a problem.

Below is a few tips and tricks to help you to give support if you are worried about someone who confides in you about their domestic abuse experiences.

If they have given you permission and it is safe to do so you may also make a referral on behalf of them here: www.valleyhouse.com/domesticabuse and valley house will help to put together a plan of action or give further advice.

How you can help if you are worried someone else may be suffering from domestic abuse?

Listen, understand their point of view and don’t blame them. Tell them that you are there to support them and they are not alone, there are many others in the same situation.

Acknowledge, it is really hard to trust someone about experiencing abuse. Give them time to talk and don’t push them to go into too much detail.

Understand, that they are in a frightening and very difficult situation.

No one deserves to be treated or beat, let them know! Nothing they can say or do can justify that.

Don’t tell them to leave the relationship if they are not ready to. Its their decision.

Ask if they have been the victim of any physical harm. If they have offer to go with them to the hospital or GP.

Offer to help them to report the incident to the police if they choose to.

Be ready! To provide information on organisation like Valley House ( 0800 328 9084 ) or National Domestic Violence Helpline ( 0808 2000 247 ) if they need it.

  • Go with her to visit a solicitor if she is ready to take this step.
  • Plan safe strategies for leaving an abusive relationship.
  • Let her create her own boundaries of what she thinks is safe and what is not safe; don’t urge her to follow any strategies that she expresses doubt about.
  • Offer your friend the use of your address and/or telephone number to leave information and messages, and tell her you will look after an emergency bag for her, if she wants this.
  • Look after yourself while you are supporting someone through such a difficult and emotional time.
  • Ensure that you do not put yourself into a dangerous situation; for example, do not offer to talk to the abuser about your friend or let yourself be seen by the abuser as a threat to their relationship.